


Espoir's Diary

by thefireydefiant



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Blood, Canonical Character Death, Death, Diary, Different Perspective, Drinking, Espoir, F/F, F/M, Funny, Gang Rape, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Interesting, Loki - Freeform, Meme, OOC if you squint, Oooo, Other, POV First Person, Rape/Non-con Elements, Sad, Self Harm, espoir stark, espoir va sauver le monde, triggering, warnings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-05
Updated: 2019-05-05
Packaged: 2020-02-26 16:25:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 6,377
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18720715
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thefireydefiant/pseuds/thefireydefiant
Summary: So, basically, this is the entirety (well so far) of Espoir Va Sauver Le Monde, bUT, coming from Espoir's P.O.V.(If you remember/have read far enough you'll know she has a diary which she often writes in!)So I thought, why the hecc not add her opinions in it!HOPE YOU ENJOY!





	1. Diary Entry One

Dear Diary,

I got rid of all of the old entries...they're...depressing and bring back too many memories, so I've decided to re-start - obviously going from now.

Oh, look at that. Writing about depressing childhood memories in fucking pink gel pen.

Joy.

So let's start from the beginning again.

Hey, diary.

My name is Espoir Rosa Alicia Carmen Susanna Lucia Jane Stark. Yup. Six middle names. That's the French for you.

I was born in Blackburn, Lancashire and I moved to London in South Kensington when I was 9. I'm currently 17, and I'm on the plane to America. My Dad, an asshole of a father kicked me out after my Uncle Romano attacked them.

He's gonna hurt me unless I go somewhere safe, and under order of my mother many years ago (who at the moment has lost her memory of me thanks to Romano) apparently somewhere safe is with Uncle Anthony - who I've never met. I'm soooo annoyed by the fact that my Dad's never mentioned Anthony. And I'm so annoyed by the fact that I have to go all the way to America. I mean, I get France, thanks to Benny. My best friend who's like my second mother.

...

Do you ever hate that feeling when people look at you when you're doing things? Like, I took off my jacket since I'm my own heat source, technically, and literally four people stared at my left wrist. I mean, I get there are red lines there, and that causes attention; a bandage used to be there. But staring is so rude. I don't stare at people if they look slightly different to normal humans??

...

I don't even know what's going on, I mean I assumed those things. It's just what Elena's told me - Agent McCourt from S.H.I.E.L.D. She picked me up from the old home. I didn't even want her to collect me. I wanted to be where I was going - homelessness until Benjamine visited me by teleporting to me and realising my terrible situation then she would feel bad and then take me to her house so I could be with Georgianna, who I sometimes saw as an auntie. I mean, you see all of your Mum's women friends as an aunt and you treat their children as your cousins.

Like, your best friends were sisters and your Mum's best friends were your aunties or uncles. If you know what I mean - you know, basically.


	2. Diary Entry Two

Dear Diary,

Sorry I never talked much yesterday, or...or the day before. Things happened. I flared up, but everything went to shit, basically. I flared up, and thanks to my anxiety and worrying it made me ill and I flared up in the  **wrong**  way. I hurt my own fucking uncle. I didn't even want to or mean to, and I hurt him. I felt so terrible, I tried to forget it by doing schoolwork, that always distracted me, or ballet dancing, it calmed me, but no.

I got depressed and upset and the next thing I knew I was in some hospital looking-room, except it was in the tower and they were trying to put a needle in my arm.

I hate needles. You know I do, so I freaked out, but ended up passing out when it got too close to me.

Then I woke up. Thor called me 'Mini Monster'.

I'm intrigued by nearly all of Uncle Tony's friends:

Steve. He's blond, tall. Known as Captain America. From the 30s or 40s, one of those. He's got muscles and is the actual size of an upside-down Dorito. I checked without him knowing and I spent a full ten minutes laughing my tits off about it.

Clint. He's also blond...ish. He's got short hair too. And he's kind of stoic. I don't really know much about him, but they call him Hawkeye. He seems to stay quiet in most situations, although that is the best option sometimes.

Prince Thor. Norse God of Thunder. Apparently. I wasn't sure if it really was THE Thor my Mum talked about a lot when I was a kid. Probably him, considering his brother is called Loki. Norse Gods. Mythology. What's next, a dragon?

Natasha. Black Widow. Joins Clint in the Stoic Club. She's ginger. And she's most likely not English, due to the 'Romanov' last name. Sounds Russian. Or Romanian. One of those. ISN'T 'BLACK WIDOW' A COOL NAME THOUGH?! Noir really likes her. I don't blame her, actually. Nat is really cool. And she's nice.

Bruce Banner.  **DR** Bruce Banner to be exact. I don't exactly know what he's a doctor in. Science, probably. Or like, a hospital doctorate. (My mind isn't working all that well, so that's why I might seem off.) I don't actually know what he does. But me and Jet spent about 20 minutes theorising on what the strange aura about him was. There was something that slightly reminded me of myself about him. Not because I'm a shy, exceedingly smart human like him that everyone seems to be cautious around...haha. Totally not.

Prince Loki. I think Prince, anyway, considering Thor talked about himself being a prince and he said Loki was his brother, so...yeah, I'm putting two and two together. Prince Loki is really interesting. In fact, I kind of fancy him but I'm obviously not going to talk about it. I'm the only British person here so thankfully none of them know the whole "I fancy you" term. So they can't tell him. I don't want anyone to know.


	3. Diary Entry Three

Dear Diary,

I really don't like how Tony's trying to get into my head or whatever. He and Dr Banner have been trying to do it and I really don't like it. Bruce is constantly writing things down about me. Tony's writing random notes and always making JARVIS modify the information on me with each waking moment, it seems.

I'm training as an Avenger. I don't know of a name for me yet, though. Tony finds it hilarious when I fail in life - like for example, scream my lungs out when I nearly fall off of a high up ledge in the training room. I mean, I heard Thor laughing, but he's got a loud voice. All I get from Tony are sarcastic comments and I just wanna kick him.

I didn't expect my uncle to be such a sarky bastard, but then, what else did I expect? I'm kind of a sarcastic person too sometimes.


	4. Diary Entry Four

Dear Diary,

Fucking Loki. Goddamn him. I want to kill him. I feel so weak to do that right now, but I hate him so much. Goddamn him to all oblivion. I actually kind of liked him too!

Bastard.

He managed to get a mental grip of Jet and control him, and that took nearly everything out of me. I nearly died!

But, there's a good point though - aside from me wanting beat the everloving shit out of Loki "Goddamn Fucking Asshole" Laufeyson.

Benny's here! I haven't seen Benny for years! So many years! I was like, twelve or something the last time I saw her and now she's here. I didn't exactly give her the welcome she was expecting though, and I don't think she was expecting to come here to New York.

From what she's told me, she was busy trying to focus on all of the luggage she had with her since she was visiting her cousin Aron in Spain. He moved there from France like, four years ago and she was going to visit him for the rest of the year.

French people REALLY love their family, you know. They're not just loving in the 'French kiss' and ultra affectionate way.

Anyway, she got mixed up on her flight and ended up at La Guardia, I don't exactly know where that is, because we went to a different airport when I first came a couple week ago. Then she was going to complain at the woman but got my internal telepathic message.

I've missed Benny. I'm planning all of this awesome best friend, girly things to do. I doubt any of them will happen though. She's been getting all pink-eyes at Steve.

Oh, by the way - by pink-eyes, it's a joke me and Benny used to say since my eyes go pink-ish in colour whenever I fancy someone and I'm feeling a little in the  **sexual mood**.

So, yeah. She's basically going pink-eyes at him. Except she gets pink hair, not pink eyes.

Tony is super awesome. I mean, on the very small odd occasion.

He's given Benny new hearing aids so I don't have to be either yelling extremely loudly at her, or using sign language. She can turn them on and off as and when needed which is really cool.

She's also going by 'Patience' at the moment - a model's name. She doesn't like being called Benjamine since apparently a lot of people pronounce it like Benjamin.


	5. Diary Entry Five

Dear Diary,

Fuck Loki. Seriously.

If I didn't already hate him for trying to kill me, I fucking hate him even more, now.

We were playing a simple stupid teenager-y party game and...I've had a panic attack for the first time since a long time ago.

Steve helped me through it. I like Steve.

Not in the "fancy" way, though.

Tony offered to help, which I appreciate, but...I still don't know if I trust him.

They asked if I was okay, but I brushed it off.

Benny's mad at me for trying to do the Tout Le Monde Heureux Et Avoir Un Bon Temps thing. She just doesn't understand what it's like to have extra powers thanks to experiments.

I don't know if I've mentioned it, and to be quite frank, I can't be assed to check. So...

I have more powers than I should! Isn't that cool?! I'm only supposed to be super fast, and have telekinesis and telepathic powers BUT, thanks to my stupid Uncle Romano I have fire powers too and turned into a firebender. I had no idea what one was until I found out when I was like, 8. I had to go to this secure location in some part of Asia or something, it was a big-ass temple.

It was brutal training, lemme tell you, but I'm glad it all ended eventually.

Thanks to that training, I can fight.

...

Never Have I Ever is always a fun game to play, but at first, I was told not to do it, and I was all confused until Steve explained why it would be a bad idea.

Tony. He exists, and that's the reason why it's a terrible idea to play stupid party teenager games like Seven Minutes In Heaven and Truth Or Dare.

I revealed a few bits about myself unwillingly, but eh. It's a fun game. Who cares?

This dude is my uncle for Christ's sake - family. He isn't really gonna care.

Well, that's what I thought until he decided it was a great idea to reveal more about my sexuality. He was like "Never Have I Ever kissed a member of the same sex" and obviously, thanks to my curiosity when I was 13, I took a shot. She was really pretty, the girl I dated. And he continued it further to asking if I made out with her and tried to be like "HAVE YOU HAD SEX" and I was like, "can you fucking not do that? k thanks"

Also, I've made it my mission to, at some point, show Steve the SAW films. How can he not have seen them?? Fuck, they're great films. I remember watching them for the first time as a little one. And I explained I watched Saw IV when it came out, and a lot of people were screaming and I was just laughing my entire way through.

Come to think of it, I have a very dark sense of humour, don't I?


	6. Diary Entry Six

Dear Diary,

My God, today was a nightmare. Tony took me to school. I bet him I would be too good for education and he didn't believe me like a dumbass so I was like "fucking fine" and went to the local school. He dropped me off and a bunch of kids were asking me shit tons of questions about the Avengers since I had explained that Tony's my uncle.

This bitch questioned me on my eyes changing colour. Her name's Michaela and I hate her.

A girl with hair similar to Benny called Molly asked me about Steve and his muscles and all I could say was that I don't exactly spend my time at the tower and with the rest of Earth's Mightiest Heroes (I got that from Tony) and measure their muscles and how strong they actually are.

Because I don't. I don't like Steve in that way, I see him as the big brother I never had, and he's super nice and I feel like he understands in a way.

Something bad happens with me or I'm feeling depressed he's always there with that expression on his face.

His eyebrows do a thing and I've decided to call them "The Eyebrows Of Sadness" and there's also the other expression he does which I call "The Eyebrows Of Disappointment" fuck, you don't wanna see that. I could ask him 'Look slightly disappointed in me' and he would and I would just be like 'I'M SORRY!!'

The Maths teacher is fine. As in, F.I.N.E because damn, he is beautiful and attractive.

Anyway, some tall muscular guy came up to me saying he liked Mum's necklace. I was like 'thanks' and he was like 'my girlfriend likes it too' and I was thinking 'well you fucking aren't having this' so I ended up in a race with her (her being Michaela from before) since she found out I was really good at my subjects. Which sounds really stupid, right?

Yeah.

So I pretended I couldn't run really fast. That jogging was the fastest I could do. And she was halfway round the corner to the finish line and the bitch called me a snail and said she was going to beat me so she ran faster and I was like 'okay, come meet me at the finish line' and she didn't believe me until I was there, at the finish line a second after.

Then we just had a party again - well, tried to.

Tony said it was a good idea to party and literally everyone except for me gave him a look since that seems to be the only thing he does. That, and flirting with a lot of the women who work for him it seems.

I pray I don't end up accidentally walking into the living room and just  **seeing**  him doing things with someone and fucking hell I want to vomit at the thought of it. Ew.

I got rather drunk that night since I'm still battling being a lightweight since I'm fairly new to alcohol. I tend to be sick a lot when I do drink.

I was all 'Benny I love you. You're such a kind loving individual' and hugging her and stuff like that but then I was crying about this one time when we were kids when I didn't go to her house because I was wanting to watch the few week marathons of all of the Zack & Cody episodes from start to finish.

Then I threw up all over Steve and fell asleep for a bit until I was woken up by a nightmare and explained to them everything that happened. They saw it. All my hurt, well, not all of it. Just the relevant parts.

Then me and Benny got into an argument because I said I was weak and she yelled at me and then I yelled back and I got even drunker after I ran off upset.

Then I got super hyperactive and ran around like the Tasmanian Devil and Tony called me Tigger it was a really fun moment since I liked having fun and getting hyper. WHAT ARE WE DOING NEXT???


	7. Diary Entry Seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> trigger warning!!
> 
> espoir talks about self harming and how she feels when she does it, (it's got a line through it but i still recommend you be prepared anyways)

Dear Diary,

Here I am, in the hospital again.

I had thought it was a funny idea to make Benny reveal her thoughts which made her say rather embarrassing and sexual things to Steve where she yelled at me to stop and we argued in French, obviously, not letting anyone else know what we were saying.

It was a rather petty and bitchy argument until she insulted me right where it hurts. I was so fucking pissed off that I was about to kill her. I was going to, I was really going to, but I ended up falling to the floor crying my eyes out because of the words she used, they were wrong.

I'm sure of it, but they still hurt.

"Your mother is a bitch and she died a whore!"

It hurt really badly. Especially since I still don't know if my Mum is dead or not.

I don't know if she is or if she isn't. It hurts not knowing. And it's not like I can ring home asking about if my mother is doing well since my fucking dickhead of a father claims they don't even HAVE a daughter. Well, here I am.

 

~~I ended up cutting, deeply. There was so much blood. So, so much blood. God does it feel so good. I can't feel a fucking thing and what do I feel when I do it? I feel so fucking alive. Like when I go for a run. It's so exhilarating.~~

 

The nurse made me cross that out. She saw me writing that bit. That bit only. She's not allowed to get my hands on my diary. Nobody is. Nobody anywhere is.

I'm so skinny and ugly and I hate it. I really hate it. So much. Oh yeah, a diary would be great to write down how I feel after I was attacked and tortured for a year when I was seven years old. Great idea, Miss Therapist.

Bitch.

Weirdly enough, though, Loki tried to stop me as did Tony and Steve. Why did Loki try and stop me, I hear you asking, diary? He doesn't want me to die apparently.

There was a lot of yelling between me and Steve since we both tried to stop what the other was doing and then I cut really deep after I had pinned them to the walls with my powers.

I was knocked out by the lack of blood in me and kind of woke up in the car on the way. Steve tried to keep me awake but it was to no hope because, well, I'd lost a lot of blood and my body tends to give up on me sometimes.

They should be coming back soon.

The nurses had ordered everyone to leave me to have a nap since I was still in bad shape. I couldn't sleep though, and the horrifying stench of Tony's coffee next to my bed wasn't helping me either.

I have always completely disliked coffee. Hated it. It affected me in a way I can't describe but it just always unnerved me whenever I went near it.

Maybe it reminded me of all those therapy sessions as a kid, how the therapist smelled like coffee and wouldn't let me open the window.

The number of coffee cups that had been left was unreal.

Tony wouldn't leave sometimes so they had to give up and let him stay. They usually let people stay with you if you're a little kid/baby or if you've just given birth.

I fucking hope he doesn't stay with me when I end up giving birth to any children I'll have in the future.

Thank God it's the father of the baby that has to stay with the mother not like, the great uncle or whatever.

He's always bloody adamant that he stays with me.

Apparently, he nearly threatened to fire about three people for saying he had to leave me here. He spent about fifteen minutes repeating himself in different ways too so he would have a little extra time with me.

I kinda appreciate it, I guess.

Everyone but Steve, Benny and Bruce had forgotten to put their rubbish away which left me to suffer from the strong smell until a nurse would remember they had to come round to check me.

They wouldn't have had to check me, but since Tony and Steve had explained I tried to stop them from stopping me and how I would do anything to hurt myself again, they have to keep coming back after every twenty minutes. It's annoying, really.

I'd be half asleep, halfway through a book or halfway through a very intense TV show episode I'd be watching where they'd be like "You can't have your phone in case you see a trigger and you'll want to hurt yourself again."

It's fucking annoying, let me tell you.

I was given my glasses again so I have to wear those til I'm up and about and I can wear my contacts.

It's okay though, I guess. Soon, like tomorrow, I'll be out of here. And at least I'm not as bad as I was the last time I was here.

Every time I think of Loki I just think of how much of a fucking asshole he is but now that's getting pushed away since I'm not actually sure if he was lying to me or not about the whole "I could not have you dying" thing he said to me after I told him I didn't want to be saved. I didn't.

But I calmed down after and for now, I'm sure I'm happy with life.


	8. Diary Entry Eight

Dear Diary,

I'm finally home! I'm just going to relax, I think, for a while before I write anything more so I'll do the dots to explain time going on like I usually do.


	9. Diary Entry Nine

Dear Diary,

I'm going out with a few people I met at Tony's parties. I'm going to be drinking in a bar this time. I can get let off the hook with how tall I am and how I look about 20, rather than 17. Well, I'm 18 soon. In a few months it'll be Christmas, and what's after Christmas? January! Why do I love January? Because the 6th is my birthday! :D

...

Oh God. Do not. Whatsoever. Drink Stroh alcohol. I think that's how you spell it?? Anyway, fucking hell. I didn't know what it was but dear Jesus does it feel like Bruce has gone green and is currently violently attacking my brain right now.

Probably the worst hangover ever. I feel so sick. I guess that's my own fault though for drinking something that had an 80 on it and being someone to not back down from a challenge, down one bottle and then have another one.

I'd ended up ringing Tony then forgetting that I rang him up since I called and when I didn't reply after he was like 'hello??' I was like 'what?' and called him a stupid head and other such silly things.

Also he couldn't stop laughing at me, the bastard. As revenge, I threw up in his car which still apparently smells like vomit.


	10. Diary Entry Ten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> trigger warning!
> 
> in this diary entry, espoir talks about how she got g*ngr*ped and met pietro
> 
> the chapter is outlined in *s because it ends up getting ripped to shreds by benny so she doesn't find out what happened

*****************************************************************

Dear Diary,

Things...things aren't doing so great. I thought they were. But they aren't.

I want to go home. I want my Mum and I want to go home and I want to just be with her and under her protection again.

If what I had gone through wasn't bad enough, this quite probably tops it, but I'll end up jinxing that.

My stupid, stupid silly mindset made me ask a stranger for a ride home. Stranger. Didn't even know the guy. He was kind of cute. Well, I thought that until he wouldn't let me get out of the car and his friends made me drink something.

I woke up being...being forced into sexual activities and that's not exactly how I imagined my first time to go. Obviously.

I escaped after kicking the shit out of all six boys - there were about six of them I think - and then I ran out. I couldn't run for long since Bruce had suppressed my powers so I wouldn't end up causing a scene at the disco I went to.

Fucking bitches and dickheads. They're all two-faced and decided to call me BurnGirl and other such stupid names like that.

Some guy with a (kind of?) Russian accent saved me and I remember thinking that I really liked him but everything hurt, especially down there so I couldn't focus on him.

He seemed to care about me. I'd only just bloody met him!

I wonder if I'll see him again?

*********************************************************************************


	11. Diary Entry Eleven

Dear Diary,

This morning I woke up with an incredibly bad headache. I can't quite remember what happened last night, I just know I have quite a bit of pain in areas I can't mention since anyone could pick this up.

It's not that much of a secret diary since those are the ones people want to read most, right? They read stuff like "Oh I want to have sex with this person" "fuck that guy is so hot I felt all warm and fuzzy and chills went down my spine and I had to change my underwear" all that weird shit that I would  **NEVER**  write in something like this.

That kind of shit can stay in my brain, thank you very much.

Okay, maybe I did doodle a few things of Loki but he's got such a nice angular face and his expression changes, it seems, from pissed off to slightly happy every time I'm in his presence and I maybe wrote how much I fancied him and wanted to kiss him.

But the silver-haired tall Russian guy who's probably about 20 that I met (at least I think I did) is so goddamn attractive. I've never found anyone attractive before now.

NEVER!

Tony's pretty pissed off about something but he won't let me know what which is pissing me off, to be fair.

But hey, I made a new friend in young Mr Hussain. Tall, handsome, not my kind of guy though. I think he likes me, I don't know. But anyway, Fury's put us on missions together.

Oh, I forgot to mention him!

Nick Fury, Director Fury, leader of S.H.I.E.L.D one eye, one eyepatch. Kind of a pirate. Except bald and not slightly Scottish sounding since that seems to be most stereotypical pirate accents.

You don't wanna know how many debates there are on how he actually lost his eye since he never tells anyone.

These are two of my favourites:

"He was doing eyeliner to be as beautiful as Nat"

or

"He fell on a fork because he was poisoned by Tony's crappy cooking and nearly choked, hence the 'the last time I trusted someone, I lost an eye' quote he doesn't shut up about"

But my favourite theory is one that I made up.

I call it:

**~~~ THE BUDAPEST THEORY!!! ~~~**

Basically, something happened in Budapest between Nat and Clint (I think) and nobody is talking about what happened.

Nobody.

I've asked, and I've asked but it's like the big ultimate secret like where the Illuminati are actually based and whether or not Walt Disney was part of it and if it's real or not.

I think it's 'cause nobody knows except the Stoic Club.

So, this is how my theory goes:

Clint did something absolutely infuriating and mentally, exceedingly embarrassingly and in result, Nat was like "wtf" and it's this super secret thing.

Judging by their rule of "what happened in Budapest stays in Budapest."

I have to know what happened. It's vital, like the law. I really, really, really want to know.

I called Fury 'Pirate Face' when I freaked out when I first got here. Remember? It was a pretty good day actually since I got quite a bit of cred from the other agents who thought I was cool.

...

Agent Hussain thinks I'm pretty. I don't exactly see it and I've told him I don't like him that way, well, I mean I laughed in his face because he got so embarrased about unintentionally making Tony think he was hitting on me.

Great.

Score one Ess, you fucking done goofed now, haven't you, you idiot?

\- Makes friend.

Laughs at friend's face. Probably loses friend.

Great.


	12. Diary Entry Twelve

Dear Diary,

I fucking kissed him.

I

Kissed

Hussain!!

It was unintentional. I know you won't believe me, but...it literally was unintentional. I wasn't supposed to kiss him but I did and now I feel really awkward about it.

He's a tallish guy (obviously taller than me) with strong leg muscles so I bet him he could stay on the ground with his powerful thighs helping him and what happens? I pull him to see if he can or can't and he straight up falls into my face and kisses me.

Hey, at least Loki isn't here anymore. Oh no, he's not dead, don't worry.

He's just been away for a while. He's jealous of me for some reason.

Why would he be jealous of me?

What have I got that he doesn't?

Benny joked and said he probably secretly wanted to be a girl but I told her she had to stop being stupid.

...

Things are getting more serious. Tony...his mind is doing a weird thing and I don't know why.

He's been getting a bit reckless and had a lot of nightmares and stuff lately.

If I try and help him, he just gets pissed off and tells me to go away.

Was it my fault? With the scare of me killing myself? Could that be why he's mad? Is he mad at me? I don't know anymore.


	13. Diary Entry Thirteen

Dear Diary,

Sorry I haven't written anything in a long while. I kinda forgot.

Tony made a killer robot.

Unintentionally, that is.

One of his Iron Legion or something (I know, it's a really weird name) has gone a little weird and basically something that was supposed to be a saviour, 'peace in our time' was made to create happiness and a lack of bad guys since the world is almost always blowing up thanks to some insane bastard.

Looking at you, here, Tony.

Point being, has gone and possessed JARVIS so we now have somebody called FRIDAY. It's got a female voice and she's Irish.

Nobody knows where JARVIS is now. Apparently, Ultron killed him.

I have a feeling JARVIS got scared and is hiding in the mainframe or something.

Most likely.

There are two people. They call them 'enhanced'. Maybe that's the new name for mutants now.

Probably. One of them is really fast like me, except I'm faster, so that guy can suck dick. And the girl, she's really good with her brain. Also, like me, but again, I'm better, so she can do that too.

They're twins. They're from Sokovia or something. I haven't actually heard of that place til' now and their place was in danger of some things. Tony's fault, apparently.

They seem to think they can outdo The Avengers (and me) but hell no. Nobody can outdo me, Benny and the rest of the crazy kids that are so-called heroes. Well, Steve isn't a kid. He's 80 odd and he's definitely an adult. The senior citizen of the group (well, as Tony says anyway).

The Sokovian guy looks really familiar. Like, ultra-familiar. I nearly wrote Ultron then. That'd be funny. 'Ultron familiar' if you get the reference, you get the reference.

Clint actually has a family. As in wife and kids. He lives on a farm. There was a lot of tension between Steve and Tony on the farm and I think they're going to end up properly fighting at some point.

I couldn't stay for long. The whole 'family together and happy' thing bothered me. I couldn't handle it. It reminded me of my mother. How she's what she is so I left and came back for dinner after.

Everyone's pretty pissed off. Mainly because Ultron escaped through the internet which ended up potentially revealing a lot of private info so I mean, I would be pissed off too.

Especially Steve. He's really starting to lose his patience with Tony. I already mentioned it, further up.

...

Ultron's elsewhere. He has Nat. Also, I was right. JARVIS did hide somewhere.

And I swear if Tony and Steve don't stop their "sexual tension" then I will smack them both over their heads.

Clint and Bruce have kind of given up their "I am quiet during fights" and are probably gonna stab somebody.

Turns out Clint isn't as stoic as I thought he was. He's just as sarcastic as me and Tony and it's great. Although to be frank, now he just doesn't shut up. It's rather annoying actually. He doesn't like the Sokovian boy. Well, not boy. He's a bit older than me, I think.

They're called Pietro and Wanda Maximoff.

Maybe it's my fault, who knows. A non-stop talking fast moving 18-year-old encourages quiet people.

In a few weeks, Ultron will be ready for global extermination, so we're going a little earlier than a few weeks. But for this moment we're spending just a teeny bit of preparation time.

Mainly to get used to the twins' powers. Speaking of...

Why. Oh why. Must I fancy every attractive looking male I see?

First Loki. Maybe it's his jawline. He has a pretty nice jawline I guess.

Now Pietro? Maybe it's the accent. I guess I like different accents?

Also, I totally did not have sex with Pietro. Okay maybe I did...a lot of times. But he is beautiful. He has a great chest and I said I wasn't going to talk about this in my diary but fuck it, I don't care.

He does gracious things with fast body parts and I am glad Tony's already soundproofed my room. Because whenever he finishes (probably in 10 minutes) we're probably gonna jump back in there.

I'm actually happy that Tony isn't mad at Pietro and didn't rip off his private parts. He threatened to do that with Loki once because apparently Thor told Tony that Loki wanted to deflower me and I totally didn't nearly throw up at that.


	14. Diary Entry Fourteen

Dear Diary,

 

The bastard that is my uncle Tony Stark has made me stay in the tower. He won't let me go for the fight.

He just straight up refused and was like 'nope'. Apparently, it's a matter of life or death and I nearly died and he doesn't want that.

Does he think I don't care about him? Does he think I won't care if he dies?!

I don't know why he didn't let me come with. I can save people. I can protect them, and I can absorb fire that's probably burning down people's houses and their faces.

Sorry, I'm talking weird, stupid Dr Banner's fellow scientists have made me take some form of a drug that gets rid of Jet for a while. It's annoying, really, because I'm rather hyper yet incredibly pissed off at the same time.

...

Loki came back, and I think I really like him. I used to fancy him, and now that I've had a private moment to talk with him, I think my feelings have increased. He's really attractive, and when he accidentally upset me, he said sorry and hugged me.

Maybe he's doing it to mess with my mind?

I don't even care. I'm rather depressed, lately, since Pietro died during the attack, so as long as I get some form of love from someone, I don't care.

I wanted to kiss him but he wouldn't let me. I know he wanted to kiss me too, but he said I shouldn't since my opinions might change. I'm sure they won't, though.

I nearly fell asleep in his hold so he used some of his powers to make me fall asleep. He's really comforting despite the fact that he's bloody freezing half of the time since he's a Frost Giant.


	15. Diary Entry Fifteen

Dear Diary,

I have the most horrible headache in the world. I'm still down after Pietro's funeral, and I got bladdered the other week, stumbled into the room, called Steve 'Stevie Wonder', asked him to play me a song, called him a dick when he didn't and fell into Loki and started crying when I heard his heartbeat since it reminded me of Pietro.

At the funeral I said "Tu me manques, mon amour." which translates somewhat to 'A piece of me is missing without you, my love'. It's quite nice if you think about it, but I was too depressed then.

After a few weeks of getting back onto my feet again, I ended up in a big argument with Tony because he doesn't like me liking Loki. I was all like "he's a really nice guy actually" and he was all "erm no" and the argument got from bad to worse and I was like "how about fuck off" and left.

I was stopped though, by my Uncle Romano who appeared at the airport, telling me that he killed my parents and now I belonged to him. I ran back and he tried to attack us, but we being the Avengers stopped it all.

After, Loki set up a nice event where we celebrated me being me and all of my achievements because I was pretty depressed about my Uncle Romano making an appearance.

It was a bit fun, though. I danced with Loki, Tony got annoyed at me for dancing with Loki so made me sing.

I sang the song from The Wickerman and put ideas in Loki's head and visions of me and him doing sexual stuff just because I was fucking around with him, but I also kinda fancied him a lot more at that point thanks to my wonderful light-weight-ness.

Then, I had sex with Loki for the rest of the night, and it was beautiful.


End file.
